I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
