you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We're too hungover to prance.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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