Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I currently don't understand fingers.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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