so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I have fence marks all over my body
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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