I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
