Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
