sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
