I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
