You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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