I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
