Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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