She's JV to your varsity
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
