you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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