i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
