I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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