I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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