then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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