I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
