32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
