yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
