my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Randomize
