A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize