I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
