Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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