I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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