Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
