life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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