next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
