All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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