are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
