there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
