Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
