we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize