God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
