maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
