New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
