You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
