Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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