He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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