You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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