Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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