so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
