That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
