guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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