Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
