how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i was born a porn star she said
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
