So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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