I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
