Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
