I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
