We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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