Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
