We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
