hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
