Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
