If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
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