Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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