Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize