We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Mom said you looked used
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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