He is an equal opportunity slut.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize