As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
