We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
