there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Randomize
