I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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