She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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