In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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