Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We had to coat check the pizza.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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