Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
