let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
