I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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